my dad ate a cucumber today and he was like “wow this is pretty cold” and then he just slowly put the cucumber down and stared into space for a really long time until he turned to me with wide eyes and quietly said, “oh my god. cool as a cucumber.”
Yesterday my crazy dad asked me to pick up some supplies for his work at Lowes this morning at 9 am and I did because I’m a sort of decent daughter, but when I got there I slowly came to the realization that all the stuff he asked me to get made it look like I was cleaning up after a murder. Some things included 55 gallon trash bags, industrial cleaning fluids, and other cleaning accessories. He also told me to go through the self check out aisle which allows me to have minimal witnesses. If he had asked me to get bleach and rope I would have shit in Lowes.
Why have I never listened to LCD Soundsystem? I am now
And I bought two velvet dresses and The Great Gatsby today at Savers. Along with some high waisted jorts, new shirt, a small wooden box with a scenic view with cows on the cover, and Walden by Thoreau.